So far we have talked about many risk factors. This is part 3 of this series and the list continues.

As you read this list, notice how the articles of the past (on this opt4 blog) have specifically spoken to and shown how to change these risk factors.

Also, as you read these risk factor posts…notice the risk factors in you. We all have them, because our society helps us have them.  Because these risk factors exist, is the reason why DV exists. therefore, we all have either experienced or have one or two risk factors in our minds at all times. It is the ability to not act upon them that defines the person we are.

Desire for control, anger problems, Weak problem solving skills

Where does one get a desire for control?  When they themselves have never had control over anything. Imagine a child who has multiple older siblings or very overprotective or overbearing parents. This child would have no say in anything because everyone else would always be taking for them or telling them what to do.  By the time this child grows up, all he wants is something he can control by himself.

Anger problems, desire for control….one creates the other. Soon you become angry that everyone controls you and tells you what to do. You are a pawn in the chess game of life and it is upsetting that you can not do more or decide what you are going to do. You feel like you’re in a rut and anger si the only escape. Also, because the anger fueled society we live in…anger is accepted. Anger is an emotion you feel and it is natural, except when it is created through unnatural means. These unnatural means are your mind creating something that is not there, and creating you to feel emotions based on this error of your mind.

Suddenly everything upsets you because you feel everyone is trying to control you and nothing is working. Add this idea and thought to a person who was never taught or never learned how to make a decision…and you have a very volatile person. When this person is in public, they are angry, upset, and their first thought is the only thought…even if it isn’t the best choice.

When these people get in a relationship…all they want to do is control the person and wants the other person to do everything they want to do. If that doesn’t happen anger ensues! If there is a compromise to be made, it won’t be made and it will only be one person’s way…theirs.

How do you correct these ideas? Education, education, education!!!!

We must  teach good and proper problem solving skills. Many people, and I have this experience in class all the time, ask someone to do something and they say no. The next step is violence. How is this ok?  It’s not, but our society shows us this example time and time again in every violent blockbuster that graces the silver screen.

Anger is a disease that will fester onto and attach itself onto everything. We must work to end the anger that is being created in our children because they are frustrated with life. Be there for kids. Be there for people with problems. help people, I believe we could lessen most of the violence is we just showed people that they are valued!