NOTE: By writing this post I in no way demean, disrespect, or tarnish  the many many women that are abused by the hands of men on a daily basis. This post is just to open up the eyes of those who do not see.

Myth: Men don’t get breast cancer.

Myth: Men don’t get abused.

While the numbers might be quite a bit lower than women, it is a truth that many men live with on a daily basis.

Of course this is nothing new…we’ve seen it for years…..but we’ve had other names for it.

“Hen pecked”

“whipped” (sometimes there’s another word following it)

“can’t handle is woman”

If i was to add more they become more and more like the last. An explanation of how a man can’t control his partner, as if that was the correct way to do things.

Much like breast cancer, men get abused as well as women.

However, we don’t know the true numbers of men being abused..

To quote a comedian: “When you get beat up by a woman, it’s a hard thing. #1 You got beat up by a girl. A girl!  Aren’t you a man?  #2 You got beat up by a girl. I mean really bro.”

This typifies the view of the “male” way of thinking when it comes to women and the abuse women dish out. Because of the sexist patriarchy we live in, any male who stands up and says he was abused or raped, is soft, feeble, and un-man-like. He is seen as below the example of what men are. According to this testosterone filled view of the world that is propagated in our society, men are always stronger and more violent than women. Women are soft, and men are hard. There is no way a man could be touched by a woman without him being able to defend himself or “put her in her place”.

With this overwhelming view of manhood – A man who is abused by a woman or his partner, is below a man and will be spoken to as such.

A friend of mine came home to his wife washing dishes. As soon as he said hello she yelled that dish washing was his job. He didn’t think it was that big a deal till a pan skipped off his head.He was shocked and asked why she did that. As soon as the words came out he was berated for everything in the house that was out of place or done wrong. He was pulled by his hair from one room to another. When he grabbed her hand she punched him in the stomach taking all of his air away. Before he could think, she slammed his head into the wall and kicked him in the jaw. When he woke up she was gone and he called the police.

They asked for a full description of her…when he said 5’1″ they police chuckled. When he described what happened….the police laughed and asked,”You mean you got beat up by a 5 foot girl?  Yeah, we’ll put in the report. Are you doing ok honey?”

He said the “honey” part was the worst, but the laughing was just as bad.

The reality is that men know this will happen to them when they report the abuse. They know the opinion of all men around. It doesn’t matter how many martial arts belt the woman has, or how evil she appears to be….he will still be seen as getting beat up by a girl.  Rape is even worse, because the general view of that is a man is always willing to have sex and someone who complains about having sex is obvious not a man.

So…yes, Men do get abused. No, it’s not as much as women…but the reality is that we don’t truly know what the numbers really are.

How many men will say they are verbally abused, physically abused, etc?  Not many, even if they are.

 

 

 

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