In this neck of the woods, there has been a lot of killing.
Currently, there have been upwards of 8 deaths because of domestic abuse this year alone.
Of course these were covered in the local paper…..but they are also on the paper’s website and allowed to be commented on.
The comments are atrocious and gut wrenching!
To give you an example….
“she probably did something to provoke it…..”
“who knows what her problem was…”
“she had it coming”
“at least he didn’t kill the kid in the car too”
“one less psycho to date”
“just standing his ground for Traditional Marriage. One woman + one man + one gun = Traditional Marriage.”
“At least he didn’t shoot the kids before he tapped out. She must have been a prize.” – A comment on a murder suicide that a child witnessed
By the way….all of the murderers were men.
So what do we do?
When I asked this recently….I was told:
we should stop them from being able to comment.
We should stop them from spouting their nonsense.
We should attack them.
We should hurt them.
We should eliminate their ability to breed (The nicest way I can put this comment)

Yes, it is horrible what these people say.

Yes, it is down right ridiculous that we have to read these gut wrenching comments by such heartless people.

But wait……

Are we judging them for their ignorance?  Yes we are.

I can only speak for myself and if this rings true to you as well, great.  There was a time I did not know what was victim blaming, disrespectful, or many of the things that utter out of my mouth.  Actually to quote Tony Porter (The head and founder of A call to Men{An organization focusing on gender equality and ending the abuse of women}, prevention advocate, gender equality advocate, etc) “….when I was young, if you came up to me thinking you were all that with your chick, I’d put you in your place with a number of diregotaory statements that were comprised of diregoatory terms for women and gay men before I added comments about your girl’s choices about you…..”

This is a quote from a man who we all look up to for the great things he has done for this cause, prevention, and gathering men to stand up against this violence towards women and girls. But those were his thoughts and ideas as a young person.

This ignorance that creates these comments is learned. This ignorance is taught and has been handed down as truth for many generations. This ignorance is propagated by billions of sources on a second by second basis. Kids of parents who are in this work are shocked to find out the things they say, think, and do which are direct opposites that their feminist minded, pro-gender equality parents taught them. This, my friends, is the true power of socialization and the number one mountain we have to climb over to truly affect social change.

The only way…the ONLY WAY… we can scale this mountain of adversity is by truly seeing that these types of comments are teachable moments. These types of comments are our window of opportunity. These are the people we created the Preventable report for. These are our target audiences!

Instead of silencing them so they can go speak at another venue….educate them. When you see a comment that is appalling, comment with real data (remember…you have tons of information on this blog and many others like it). Comment back with actual cases, comment back and educate the entire forum with your posts.

We are the prevention advocates that will enact social change!