When I was a kid a very important thing happened to me: I was beat up by a girl.

I was 6 years old. The girl was crying and I called her a cry baby. The girl was crying because another boys flipped up her dress and everyone saw her panties. This was the talk of all the boys in the 2nd grade class, and classes above as well. Because not only did you see her panties, she had a wedgie (’nuff said).

The girl yelled at me and asked “Why do you have to be so mean!!!”

Interesting enough…these are the EXACT same words that I hear everyday from survivors, teenage girls who deal with boys all the time, victims, parents of victims, etc, etc when talking about the abusers, the men of the world, and the patriarchy.

I told her that she just needed to get over it. (A phrase that I hear everyday out of the mouths of men when they read, hear, or talk about the atrocities that happen to girls and women all the time.)

She stood up and hit me in the jaw. So, I hit her back. That was when all the anger that she had towards every boy that had ever made her feel bad about being a girl was unleashed….and I ended up a bloody mess on the ground.

Much, much, much later…we became friends. She asked me why does the world have to be like this towards girls?  Why are boys taught to be so mean?

I said the words that have plagued me for the next 30 years…..that’s just the way it is.

{I’ll tell you what that little girl is doing at the end of the post}

That moment changed my life…and I think and hope we have all had this epiphany moment…when we realize…

The world doesn’t have to be this way!

However, if you’re not in the right company this idea is difficult.

I have lost jobs because I’m not going to accept that inequality is just the “way it is”.

I have lost relationships because I’m not going to be ok with the constant double standards.

I have lost places to live because degradation of women is not just “a guy thing”.

I have lost truck loads of friends because I don’t think it’s ok to “say nothing”.

I have lost groups and memberships because exclusion should not be “what’s always been accepted.”

There is a wrong and a right!  PERIOD!

So, if you are the only one in your circle that is standing up for the rights of all people no matter their gender, race, sexual orientation, nationality, or undecided decision – YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

If you are the only one in your circle that sees it’s wrong that women are portrayed as sexual meat for boys to play with – YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

If you are the only one in your circle that sees it’s natural that a woman was breast -feeding her baby in her Air Force Uniform – YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

If you are the only one in your circle that understands that it’s wrong when a person has to justify why they said no to a sexual advance – YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

If you are the only one in your circle that sees it’s wrong that all of these reality TV shows depict women as cat fighting, drinking, mean women – YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

If you are the only one in your circle that sees the fact that 1 in 4 women will be in am abuse relationship is way tooo high and should be O – YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

if you are the only one in your circle that see t-shirts such as: FBI – Female Body Inspector, 3 million people like having sex with your girlfriend, please sit on my face, advertisements for strip clubs with women hanging on poles, and all other derogatory t-shirts as absolutely wrong – YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

You’re not alone…there are a lot of people in this world that see these things and more as wrong.

We must stand united and speak out against every single time a woman is exploited or seen as below a man.

We must stand united and speak out against every single time a person is forced into a gender role.

We must stand united and speak out against every single time a woman is told what to do with their own bodies.

We must stand united and speak out against every single time a person is told how they are supposed to act in regards to their sexuality.

We must end this violence and this oppression of the acceptance of people as people.

 

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