I was sitting in a meeting when I realized how violent it all was.  Interesting enough, I was in a meeting speaking about peace.

There was one person talking about “shooting” e-mails, and “shooting” out a mass “blast” of e-mails.

There was another person talking about “hits” on a website and “hitting” and smashing the other groups that were being violent.

Then there was a person who was responding to the e-mails and the website saying and speaking about that it’s a good “rule of thumb” and “killing two birds with one stone”.

As I sat through the meeting I counted up the violent phrases that we see as absolutely normal, and I was flabbergasted at the number:  2 hour meeting, 200 violent phrases (That’s 100 an hour)

Keep in mind, these are NOT violent people. These are people who are doing amazing things to teach and promote nonviolence. However, they are merely using words that they have heard, you have heard, we have all heard on a daily basis.

If we, who are trying to promote peace and nonviolence, are speaking 100 violent words an hour, imagine what is being spoken by people who don’t care to promote peace or who don’t even think about it.  Imagine what the media and TV are speaking per hour…are they just as violent?  Of course they are.

Science piece:  It has been proven time and time again that the more violence we experience, the more violence we commit. If we are hearing over 100 violent words per hour. then we watch thousands and thousands of violent pictures a day, we are encapsulated in violence every minute of every day. That is more violence than anyone can handle. Is it any wonder we live in such a violent society?

A big factor of Domestic violence is power and control and the acceptance of violence.  (Another big one is that one gender is better or above another – therefore violence is a way of correcting and putting that gender in their place – why so much gender and sexism comments are on this blog)

Acceptance of violence in our society is very big.

So the prevention committee of Pinellas county (who puts out this blog) decided to task themselves with eliminating violence in their language. This turned out to be a lot harder than anyone thought. When we first began we started slipping up almost immediately. First gave the shooting of emails then hits on a website and then hitting and pushing people to do things.  After an hour of “trying” to communicate correctly we realized – we are having a really really tough time doing this.

See, we are so connected to the violence and violent language we hear and use all the time, we don’t ever realize it’s coming out of our mouth. We speak it and teach our kids to speak it. no wonder verbal assault is so hard to stop for so many people – it’s almost cultural. (How sad is that.)

The reason paying attention to your speech is so important is that it changes the way you think. When you begin to eliminate the violent speech in your language, you begin to see the large amount of violence that is in our language in the first place.

The second step is usually finding out how much violence language is in your own speech.

The third step is the magic step, this is where you try to reform your speech. What you are actually doing, is changing the way your mind connects things to other things. Instead of a violent connection, it is now a peaceful connection. Suddenly, your eyes are opened up to the myriad of words that are available to you that are not violent and actually explain and depict what you’re saying in a better way. Not only that, when you stop and think about a nonviolent phrase, you because more conscious of what you’re saying and how you say it. When this happens you change your brain into a searcher for nonviolent phrases and inevitably nonviolence.

Just by changing the words coming out of your mouth, you change your entire brain make up. It’s amazing.

Next step…


Start paying attention to what comes out of your mouth. Try to eliminate the violent words that are coming out of your mouth.

Once we eliminate the sexist & violent words, we are 1000’s of steps closer to equality and peace, just by changing the way we speak!

Opt 4 a new way of speaking.

Opt 4 a new world view on language.