The following article was written by a fellow prevention advocate on their own blog.

I think it brings up a lot of very interesting comments on bullying….but let us remember:

Many of the bullying fears, thoughts, ideas, and power and control that is used on the one that is bullied – is very very similar to domestic violence.

So read on….for many of us are really still these ages if we were stunted by violence or destruction of some sort.

 

When God Walked Out of the Room: A Victim’s Perspective of Bullying

For the past several weeks I have been preparing to speak at the National Bullying Conference, an honor I have taken very seriously and with great pride. As most people realize, bullying is no longer a childhood game that takes place only on the playground.  Bullying is not the same as it was when we were growing up in the 50’s or even the 90’s and anyone who believes that it is, is grossly mistaken and highly naive. Bullying has made it to the national media as a cause for the gay community, immigrant community, the disabled, the poor, and many others.  Lady Gaga has made it her personal cause, along with countless celebrities and special interest groups.  Some are calling it the “cause of the week.”  The reality is this.  Bullying is not a cause for any special group to claim, because it is not an issue for one group to call their own. Bullying is a human issue. It’s a human issue based on ignorance and intolerance and one that is perpetuated by adults, who make children believe cruelty is a necessary part of life.

There are a couple of facts about bullying that those who believe it is just a natural part of growing up should know. Bullying is traumatic. It can create PTSD in the victim and fear in those who have to watch it.   Bullying doesn’t build character any more than domestic violence makes a woman stronger. Bullying just like domestic violence tears the victim down, making them feel worthless, unsafe, untrusting, and fearful.  Bullying is not playground teasing, nor is it a natural part of childhood. Bullying as in domestic violence is abuse over the course of time, whose goal is to create a power imbalance between the victim and abuser.  Its intent is to tear the victim down to nothing until there is no hope left and until the victim sees life as a place where God has left them to suffer.

Until we see bullying as the abuse and cruelty it is, we will never move beyond the childhood playground and we will never truly allow the victims to heal and children to learn. Bullying as in domestic abuse comes in many forms, ranging from physical violence to verbal abuse to emotional cruelty. You can call it what you want, but in the end it’s all just alternate forms of violence with varying degrees of impact.  Many victims of this form of violence will tell you that being hit is easier than the ongoing destruction of their psyche and their soul.  Words have more of a destructive impact than physical violence, because when you are hit others can see the pain. Words aren’t as obvious and in a society where we celebrate cruelty, meanness, unhealthy competition, and misogyny through our media and specifically reality television, victims have no recourse but to pray for someone to take notice in a world where they believe God has walked away.

Victims of bullying struggle with their voice. Asking for help is not only difficult, but practically impossible. They fear ridicule, retaliation, and the loss of their dignity. We have to open our eyes and reach out with our hearts, but the first step is understanding as a society that bullying is violence with words and physical torture and it doesn’t discriminate. If you have never experienced bullying consider yourself lucky, but make sure you don’t judge the victim for not having the strength to endure the torturous words of abuse.  Just for one moment consider what it’s like to be told on  a daily basis for months on end that you are nothing and that you are hated.  You are stupid and fat.  You are a faggot and a slut.  You are a retard and your parents have hated you since you were born.  Everyone hates you and no one will ever find you pretty.  You are nothing and you will always be nothing.  You don’t have any friends and everyone is talking about you behind your back.  You are a loser!

Now be 13 and alone.  What would you do?  Who would you trust?

 

In the end, the same feelings are felt by the DV victim….

How can we end this?

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