As I was getting ready to speak to a group of middle school students I overheard an old game being played among the boys. It went something like this without the particulars that were said:

“Yo mama is so dumb…….”

“Yo mama is so stupid….”

“Yo mama is so…..”

I listened to this go on for about 10 minutes before I asked the boys about it. The boys, knowing who I was, assured me that everything was OK, that this was “just a game”.

Just a game – fellow readers.  Let’s have a look at this “game”.

First, this is a game that boys, not girls, play.

Second, this is a game that specifically attacks only 1 gender.

Third, this is a game that attacks the person who gave these boys life.

Fourth, this is a game that demeans and belittles the mother. But not only that, in order to have as much fun with the game as possible, you have to demean the other person’s “mama” the best. Usually this is done by sexual feats or a pointing out of her size or her lack of intelligence.

Fifth, this is a game that promotes attacks on the woman figure in a boy’s life.

So what conclusion can we draw – it is a tool to continually repeat and demean women and not just any woman, the woman who brought you into this world. There is no other woman more important in a  young man’s life than his mama (or there shouldn’t be anyway).

Not only that, through this repetitious way of playing the game, you are forced to think up worse and worse things about women. It is an exercise in patriarchal sexism.  By the end of the game, women and mothers in general are seen and made to be seen as the worse, most vile, pathetic human being on this planet. AND when you add this to vocal repetition…you have learning taking place.

What have these boys learned? Women and mothers are the worse, most vile, pathetic human being on this planet.

However…lets not forget the male version of this (My daddy). When we compare we see the patriarchy in our society for what it really is.

The my daddy game is played something like this:

“my daddy has a bigger ______ than your daddy”

“my daddy has a bigger____________ than your daddy”

And on and on and on.

This game just shows you that these dads have things, and not only things…big things. So what are they learning with this one, and what is it saying about the socialization of our society?

First, daddies and boys have big things.

Second, daddies are supposed to be better than all other daddies.

Third, you want to grow up and be like a daddy who has all these big cool things.

Fourth, daddies use violence and their big things to solve their problems.

Therefore, looking at these two games what have we seen?

Yet another way to push women down and raise men up.

Women are dumb, idiots, fat, etc….and men are big, tough, and violent.

In these two little games that are still being played and propagated throughout the world….we see the promotion of the theories that aid to violence against women:

Women are below men.

Women are not as good as men.

Men are bigger and better than women.

Men are violent.


What other games promote this sexism and patriarchy?


Opt 4 changing the culture of our society to promote men and women (mom and dad) as equal.

Opt 4 stopping the yo mama jokes.

Opt 4 stopping the “my daddy” game.

opt 4 not teaching gender stereotypes at all!