I was teaching a class of middle school students.  After I get done with the story, decide which kind of student you are.

In a class of middle school boys, I told a story of a woman who was raped. She was wearing  mini-skirt, a lace top, and she was going to a club. Right before she got to the club..she was raped.

I asked the students if the rape was her fault.

One boys yelled out….of course it was her fault. She was going to a club and wanted to have sex, so she was wanting to be raped. Look what she was wearing, she was asking someone to do something to her. She should have expected top be raped. (I thought to myself…wow, that’s a lot of the old rape myths all put into one comment. However, it also shows that the rape myths are still out there and still being taught to boys.)

This was sad…especially after being through 6 sessions of a healthy relationship anti domestic violence class. Sad that people still see things this way. Sad that he was taught this by someone at some point in his life. Sad that women have to deal with these comments and these ideas in their daily life.

But…a Gleam of hope!!!!

As soon as he said that, the whole class erupted with noise and complaints. Here are a few of the comments that were said to him:

“Are you serious…nobody deserves to be raped.”

“Are you crazy…who would want to be raped. That’s horrible.”

“Nobody deserves or is asking for that.”

“That type of brutality should never be sen in our world. You’re keeping it going.”

“Nobody should have to go through that…especially a woman.”

“Women deserve to be respected…haven’t you been listening?”

When 15 boys attack 1 boy…there is hope. There was a time when 15 boys would agree with that 1 boy…now we have boys speaking out against violence, against women as second class citizen, against sexism, against rape!


We have to keep educating boys and combatting the things they are told by their peers, their friends, and the other people who keep the rape and domestic violence myths alive.

Talk to your boys.

Talk to your sons.

Talk to all men….we can eliminate rape and domestic violence!

Yes we can!

Are you talking to your boys?  What are you saying?