Are we still blaming the victim for what the abuser does?

Are we still seeing this issue of violence (domestic or otherwise) as the victims fault?

Are we still seeing the person who is abused as the person who caused all of the problems?

This theory that –

“I hit you, because you made me mad.”

The woman didn’t leave the relationship, so she deserved the abuse.”

“If you wouldn’t do these things, I wouldn’t have to do these things to you”

“If the woman cared about her kids, she’d get out of the relationship.”

This theory has never been ok. this theory is a very myopic view of the problems of abuse and violence in general. This view states that the person who is abusing, the abuser, is the one that is justified…their abuse is ok. Whenever we blame the victim, no matter what, we say that the violence and the abuse is OK.


A person has control of their actions and emotions. A person decides to hit. A person decides to yell. A person decides to rape. A person decides to kill. A person decides to get angry. A person decides that another person deserves to be hurt. A person decides to be an abuser. A person decides to be a perpetrator.

No matter what, another person is not responsible for another person’s actions.

A victim of Domestic violence is a victim, and did not ask to be made one.

When we say or infer that a victim is to blame….we say it is ok for the abuse and the abuser to do what they did.

Learn more about how power and control is responsible for RAPE and Domestic violence

There are many articles on this blog alone that deal with power and control…that is the real place to put blame.

Opt 4 erasing the hate.

Opt 4 people learning how to control themselves.

Opt 4 no victim blaming.