I was talking to a gentleman, we’ll call him “James”,  who is dating a woman, we’ll call her Sophia” who everyone considers “a great catch” and “a super nice person. “

 There’s another woman, we’ll call her “kelly” that “James” has known for over 15 years. In fact, he grew up next to her and grew up playing with her in their front yards.  Upon talking to “James” and “Kelly” I found out that both of them see the other as a brother/sister. The mere fact of a “relationship” between the two is disgusting and their scrunched up faces seal the explanation.

 As soon as “james” sits down with “Sophia”, she snatches his cell phone. She flies to his contacts and deletes “Kelly”. She then reads all of his text messages, and deletes the ones from people she doesn’t like, or doesn’t want him speaking to. Then she sees “kelly’s” text…they have smiley and winky faces – according to “Sophia” this is unacceptable.  The fight then ensues for the entire lunch period and will continue at home and on Facebook.

 Is this right? NO!

 Does “Sophia” have the right to do this?   NO!

 Is “James” being abused?   YES!

 This type of abuse happens all of the time.  A relationship is based on trust. If you can not trust someone, you can not  have a loving relationship.

 When I suggested that “James” leave “Sophia” he said: “She will ruin me.”

 I of course asked how – “She will log onto my facebook and send nasty messages to every one of my contacts. She will then start posting every secret I have ever told her on her facebook. She has the entire school as her friend, so everyone will know everything about me, my family, my parents, and my siblings…including my friends. I can’t let this happen…besides, it’s not that bad.”

 “James” IS being abused, and because of him caring about the people in his life – he will endure the abuse!

 How many people out there are having this problem.

 A lot!

 How can James change his situation?

Opt 4 no abuse.

Opt 4 privacy.

Opt 4 respecting your partner!