Archive for October, 2011

Heal your heart…please

In a world where there is so much violence and abuse, it’s hard to feel happy.

Heal your heart!

In a world where we look for happiness, and we’re bogged down by the destruction.

Heal your Heart!

When we see our friends hurt and left battered.

heal your heart.

In a society in which there is so much violence, and in which our own hearts have been hurt, it is easy to become discouraged and depressed and to blame ourselves for what happens to us.  If we someday reach a point when we no longer believe there is anything to live for, we may become violent toward ourselves. Many people who would never think of hurting someone else are very skilled at hurting themselves.

It is not unusual to feel sad or depressed occasionally. However, being seriously depressed or dwelling on thoughts of hurting yourself, making plans to hurt yourself, or doing self-destructive things is definitely cause for concern. If you find yourself doing any of these things, you need support from those you can trust to pull through the difficult times – to help heal your heart  – By The Todos Institute

How can you help more people heal their heart?

Please help more people heal their heart!







What is a healthy relationship?

All of our relationships should be healthy, but what is that?  Many people mistakenly think that a healthy relationship is merely the opposite of abuse. If it’s not abusive, it’s healthy.

Sadly, many of us have no model for a healthy relationship, so we don’t know what one looks like and we’re left to flounder in the sea of relationship nightmares.

Here is a glimmer of hope – These are the signs of a healthy relationship.

  • Supports your relationship with yours and their friends and family.
  • Maintains their own friends, and wants you to hang out with your friends too.
  • Asks and values your opinion
  • You can express your opinions, ideas, and dreams and do not feel threatened.
  • Talks and listens to you. (ACTUALLY LISTENS!!!)
  • Accepts responsibility for their behavior, feelings, and thoughts
  • Apologizes when they’re wrong, and accepts your apology when you’re wrong.
  • Considers the relationship a partnership.
  • Shares in the decision-making and wants you to share.
  • Expects each person to deal with their own money, and doesn’t use money to get their way.
  • Treats other people and animals with respect. (Especially their parents, elders, and servers)
  • Is not upset about your relationship with someone of the opposite or same-sex.
  • Trusts you and expects to be trusted.
  • Encourages you in your goals and dreams.
  • Points out the positive in your appearance, your actions, and your ideas.
  • You feel safe with.
  • Resolves conflict without resorting to violence or put downs.
  • Tries to understand how you feel.
  • Accepts all aspects of who you are.
  • Understands that people need some time alone to be with themselves, their family, or friends.
  • Text you only when you respond or it is appropriate to text. Does not ask for nude pics.
  • Understands NO, and variation of the word,  still means No

Post this checklist on your Facebook page. Ask your friends if their relationship is healthy.

How healthy is your relationship?

The more people who know what a healthy relationship is, the less abuse there will be.

Happy dating…



We go to school and we believe that we all live in a real world.

I say it’s all an illusion.

The teachers: they’re not being their real self. They’re in their”teacher” role. Most people are different at work than they are at home.

Your friends:  They know that if they reveal too much of themselves they will get teased – because it’s happened before to them.  Your friends have ideas, thoughts, and beliefs they will never share with people because they are scared of having these things made fun of.  Therefore,  your friends are only the people that they are allowing you to see.

Other students:  These other students know that at any time they have the ability to be made fun of or be bullied by someone.  You just may be that person…but they don’t know. So they will try to gauge what others, that are not in their close group of friends, will like and tell them exactly what they want to hear.

Adults (parents included):  They have decided that they don’t want to be hurt by anyone, and have created a facade to show the whole world. When you speak to an adult, you are speaking to and talking to the facade or the masks that will protect them.  They might be playing a specific role that they have found is appropriate for this conversation that they are engaging in.

You – You are doing the same thing. You’re not your real self, you are a created person that is hiding a lot.  You’re probably hiding your real self  so you won’t get hurt, teased, or bullied.

In essence, there are a lot of fake people walking around being fake to one another


There are a bunch of actors acting out roles, and everyone believes that those roles are real.

As Shakespeare said –  “We are just players on a stage.”

So – Your schooling is not real, it’s all an illusion.

Just like the illusion that violence is normal.

Just like the illusion that there is no teen dating abuse.

Just like the illusion that a couple’s fight is their own problem.

Just like the illusion that media(TV, games, magazines) doesn’t affect us.

Look past the illusions and do something to prevent the violence!

Images create our reality

 Do we truly understand how images such as these affect the society and world we live in?

Obviously not, or we wouldn’t continue to put them into our society.

The first picture is from bitch skateboards, a skateboard and clothing company. This image is on their boards as well as their clothing. This is an image depicting a man pointing a gun at a woman…the message is obvious!

The next picture is a picture of a woman being “strangled” or dragged across the hood of a car. Her body is lifeless and it looks as if there is blood under her head. this image reads like a crime scene photo – but it is merely a way to sell ties and men’s clothing.

If an image is worth 1000 words, than these images – these 2000 words – are telling us how to treat women. How women deserve to be treated.

To many, this seems a far leap to come to this conclusion.

Right now, women comprise 90% of the domestic violence that is reported in the US.

Right now, women are seen as objects of sex and domination as explained in multiple societal studies throughout the United States.

Right now, there are 1,500,000 report of abuse in the US per year (most of them are towards women). We also know that only 40% is ever recorded, so the real number is probably closer to 4,000,000.

These images are seen in the most popular magazines in the United States. Magazines that have a readership upwards of 100,000 people. This image is burned into the minds of over 1000, 000 people every time it is published. what do you think a person who sees images like this would feel on the subconscious level?

OPT4 saying something when you see this type of imaging.

OPT4 preventing this type of media.

Opt4 writing the media and asking them to stop advertising abuse!

How are we going to stop this type of blatant disrespect to the women of our society?




As the title of this post says…You have the ability to end violence!

In a conversation with a group of high school students I asked them how to stop violence. They came up with a lot fo really good ideas.

Suddenly….in 3 minutes, they came up with a number of problems with their ideas, why they can’t work, and how it would be easier if we were living int he 1800’s.

Then they decided that this all has been going on since the dawn of time and there’s no way to stop it.


Listen – We are able to change everything. Just because the normal way of doing things has been going on for so long doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to stop.

Don’t talk yourself out of doing something to work towards a better nonviolent world.

If you have an idea…I want to hear it.

If you have a way to promote nonviolence i want to hear it.

Violence is preventable….how can we do it?

1 is 2 many

The word is out and it is alive.

Violence against women is not acceptable in our country!

If 1 woman is harmed it is simply too many.

This is being echoed by Vice President Biden as he sits at round tables, town hall meetings, and conferences throughout the United States to look at way to prevent all violence Toward Women!

Go to this link for more info on this amazing ground breaking decision from the Executive Branch of our Government!

What do you think this will do for our future?

As I was speaking to a group of sophomores to seniors in high school we came upon a conversation:

Nonviolence is never going to happen because it’s not a reality.

When I asked why this was, they explained that if someone hits you-you’re going to hit them back. If you see someone hit someone you care about, you’re going to want to hit them back. Hence violence begets violence and violence will never end. they went on to cite examples – holocaust, bombing of pearl harbor, slavery and the civil war, gangs, street fights, and they even had a number of Halo and Gears of War examples.

The glaring obvious focus was at the point where violence occurs. Why do we deal with that part?

Prevention! Prevention! Prevention!

If we are living in the world of prevention, then we would never be at these situations. We would never be where the violence is going on. We would have prevented it before that.

WWII – preventable if we began speaking to leaders when Hitler was running a Pro-german gang which was part of the National Socialist Party in Germany..

Slavery was preventable when the slave ships first decided to come on over to the Americas. We could have said no!

Slavery was further ok’d when the continental congress decided that it was ok and created the 3/5 compromise.

Gangs are preventable as long as you understand that Gangs are families for people who truly have no other essence of belonging. There are needs that every member has that is not being met by any other part of society except the gang family. give the members what they need, and the gangs won’t be needed. however, now we have gone so much farther than that. the gangs are examples of how we as a society have let the youth down.

Violence is preventable but it needs to be dealt with way before it starts.

OPT4 preventing violence in the way babies are raised.

Opt4 preventing violence in the messages we give to children under the age of 3.

OPT4 preventing violence in the ways we deal with people everyday.

OPt 4 preventing violence everywhere and with everyone!




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